The UnRemovable Stain: truth

I just started, Plain Truth by Jodi Picoult. This book so far has had a women give birth and lie to the police and won't admit it was her baby when they find the murdered baby. Very complicated and challenging plot. In this line one of the wiser women, a bathroom attendent says, "some stains ain't never gonna come clean". In this moment she is obviously talking about the towel that she is trying to clean, but that line stuck out to me in a different way. I think Picoult was using a metaphor and wasn't directly talking about the towel. I think she was talking about mistakes and life in general, and this could connect back to the baby.

Katie is the mother of the baby, but she never admitted it. I think she wasn't ready to admit the fact to herself and she wanted to hide it away and never let anyone find the key to that lock. She wanted the whole night to disappear like it never happened. Obviously that isn't the case. You can't be scared to face what has happened. She is unmarried and it is wrong in her society and she would be judged and lying about the baby seems better than facing the consequences. But really, reality will catch up to her in the end. This connects to the quote in a way that, Katie can't erase that night. No matter how many lies she will tell, or how many people she will convince, beneath that there is still the truth and lies won't change that.

This quote also connects to life in general, and I personally can connect to this quote. I'm one to make mistakes a lot. I used to be the girl who covered them up. I was scared to face my mistake and wanted to be that perfect girl who never had to face her mistakes because she didn't have any. I guess that was because I didn't want to admit to myself how many flaws I had. The last year and 1/2 I've changed. I think I've become more of myself and learned that I have flaws but that doesn't make me a bad person. People always talk about how society will judge if you're a bad person or not, but what happens if you think you're a bad person because you have flaws? I thought that about myself, but now I've learned. I've learned that in the end, coming to truce and putting out the truth is a lot easier than hiding it up with lies.

Covering up mistakes may help the pain and challenges in the short run, but it will catch up with you. The simplest way to put it is lies dont have to be there, and you can avoid them, but the truth will never be washed away. Just because Katie lied about the baby doesn't mean that the baby never happened. The truth is the stain that will never be washed away.

Living for the eyes of society

I'm currently reading Identical by Ellen Hopkins. This book is about two twins who live with a father who is a judge, but contradicts himself at home where he drinks and sexually abuses his daughter. Their mother is gone most of the time and could care less about her children. These twins may be identical on looks, but couldn't be more different on the inside. Noticing their differences has led me to think deeper about why they are so different, and why they handle the problems they have internally without any expression of them. 

Raeanne, one of the twins, deals with a lot of issues. Many of these issues are secrets that she feels can only be kept, and if she tells them she will be judged. Her biggest secret is she is in love with her father. I think this is such a deep and tough topic because not every daughter feels sexual love towards her father, and also, it is something that society keeps a secret and doesn’t bring up often. I think that having this secret to keep is probably the hardest thing to deal with when trying to have a “normal” life. Raeanne repels her internal self from society, and finds a story to live by. What I mean is, she keeps her secrets and problems to herself and fakes who she is on the outside. At school she is the out going kid who talks to everyone and pretends to be that kid that everyone wishes they could be. I think Raeanne not only does this for society judgment, but also for herself. I think that Raeanne is afraid to admit her confessions to herself, because once she does, everything will be too complicated.

I think this issue can be connected to the real world in a lot of ways. Many people fake who they are, because they are afraid of being judged and given a label. I think that coming through to your true self is based on what society thinks of you. I think that all the eyes shape who you are as a person. I know I live life a lot of times thinking, “what will this person think of me if I do this?” or “what will they say about this?” I think that in a lot of ways, this is wrong. I think judging people is wrong, but I think that its part of humanity.

Life's Labyrinth (looking for Alaska)

I am currently reading “Looking For Alaska” by John Green. While I was reading I came across a quote that really stuck out to me. “You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that the future keeps going, but you never do it. You use the future to escape the present.” This is said by Alaska who is a girl at the boarding school that becomes friends with Miles. Miles is the protagonist and he comes from small town in Florida and comes to the boarding school in a hope of finding friends. He becomes friends with “The Colonel” and Alaska, and abuses his rules of no smoking, drinking etc. Alaska I think is a very interesting character and there is a lot of un-known about her, but I think she is a very smart person from all the experiences that she has gone through. When Alaska said this to Miles, it made me think about her as a person, and myself and how I can connect to this quote. It also made me able to understand what I’m dealing with a lot more and have a different view on things.

Alaska seems like a troublemaker and a person who is shallow, but learning more about her makes you realize how interesting of a character she really is. One thing that Alaska loves is books. Her room is full of books that she calls her Life’s Library. She refers to the Labyrinth, and Miles is confused, but at the same time interested at what it means. When Alaska says this quote, I realized that the labyrinth is her, she compares her personal life as a labyrinth. When I had this realization, a lot of things made sense to me. I understood why she was at the boarding school. I think she came here for an escape, but when she came she realized that she was still stuck in the maze. I think this was a point of realization for Alaska, and she realized that distance won’t determine if you have escaped the labyrinth, what will is how you work toward your goal in life and how you achieve that.

In the next part of the quote, Alaska refers to having a dream and waiting for it to come true. I think that this part of the quote is really though provoking. I think that what this quote means is that everyone has a dream, but a lot of times you wait for it to come true. And I think this is something that everyone can relate to and I think this is really smart. My favorite part of the whole quote is when Alaska says, “Imagining the future keeps on going. Using the future to escape the present.” I think that this really illustrates how many people imagine the future, but don’t realize they are living it, and one day you will realize that everything you thought was going to happen didn’t because you waited too long, and you used the future as an escape from the present. You always counted on the future instead of living the moment.

I can connect to this quote in so many ways. This quote is literally my life. Of course I have dreams of being someone that people will remember and big “superstar” dreams. And then you just give yourself a reality check, and say, wait everyone has a dream like you why you? And you just loose hope. I think that is the labyrinth in my life. I think another part of the labyrinth in my life is the problems and confusion that every teen faces sometime. I think that growing up is really hard, and dealing with your parents and family and friends and trying to keep good grades and also at the end of the day trying to find a way to help yourself is a lot to deal with. But at the same time, you have to accept that you have problems in your life and you can’t us excuses such as the future to escape your present.

I think that everyone has a labyrinth in their life and everyone has a issue that holds them back from something. I think that understanding that and accepting that makes someone a stronger person.  

Words Hurt, Words Protect

In the story, "Am I Blue?" by Bruce Coville, I read a quote that really stuck out to me. On page 10, Melvin says, "It is. But if you live in a world that keeps trying to grind you down, you either start thumbing your nose at it  or end up very, very short. Taking back language is one way to jam the grinder. My friends and I call each other 'fagots' and 'queer' for the same reason black folks call each other 'nigger'- to take the words away from the people who use them to hurt us." This quote I found really interesting and was able to connect it to Vince and other characters in the story, as well as connecting it to the real world and how people can connect to it.

I find this quote really interesting because of the meaning behind the words. The grinder and how Melvin uses as a metaphor for bullying I think is really meaningful. I think he means, bullying is a force that is very hard to get out of. For example, Vince is bullied by Butch, and he can't stand up for himself. Connecting this to the metaphor, he is stuck in a grinder and is being beat very quickly, and he is getting shorter and shorter every second. Then, Bruce Coville says, "Taking back language is one way to jam the grinder". This is a line of defense that shows how there is a way to stop the grinder, or stand up to the bullying. Melvin also refers to taking back language. I think that this is very smart and deep. When you take back language from someone, or use it to yourself, it makes the bully look stupid. It also shows strength and courage and puts the bully in his place. I also think that making yourself look stronger this way is more successful than trying to fight back with the bully. As Melvin says, using the words to each other takes the word away from the bully, who would use it to hurt you.

This quote really connects to Vince. Butch, a bully, bullies Vince and makes Vince feel alone and worthless and weak. Vince doesn't know how to deal with it, but i think that using words against him is really smart. Another Character that can connect to the quote is Butch. Even though Butch is bullying Vince for being gay, at the end you find out that Butch is gay as well. I think that butch calls Vince mean names to make himself feel better, even though those same words are offensive to him as well. I also think that Butch uses those words to cover himself and who he really is.

I can connect this to the real world because I have encountered many incidents when someone is being mean to someone else. A lot of the time you just think, "jerk, why is he doing that to him? Does he not have a life?" But people never really stop and think why they bully, why people say such mean things. I think that a lot of the times it is to make yourself feel better, or cover something about you that no one knows, or as this quote illustrates, it takes the words away. It Takes the opportunity away for someone to be mean to you about that same thing because you made fun of someone else for it. I think this quote is trying to make people think deeper on why people are mean, or why people use what may seem like offensive things to protect themselves.

Sweetheart, Theme Connection

I am currently reading sweetheart. This book is about a 17 year old girl, hudson, who has a dream of moving out of Watonka NY. her parents recently split, their dad leaving which made her give up her dream of becoming a figure skater. her mom is barley holding on financially, and is the owner of a restaurant that is famous for Hudson's cupcakes. hudson hides behinds her cupcakes until one day she decides to give her dream another shot. she gets involved with the hockey team and starts crushing on Josh Blackthorn.
one theme that i noticed is insecurity, and afraid to try. Ever since Hudson found out that her dad was having an affair with another woman, she has always been overly cautious and paranoid about a lot in her life. she gave up figure skating because she was afraid to move on after what happened with her parents marriage. I think that she hid behind making cupcakes for the diner and hid from the reality of her life. This shows the theme of being scared to try. she was scared because deep down Hudson knew that she couldn't pretend that everything was okay when it wasn't. when she met josh, it was sort of a reality check for her. it sort of just hit her that hey, not everything is okay, and i screwed up and i'm a jerk. But when she tried to give life another chance, the pain held her back. i think that a lot of times it is a lot easier to hide from a problem than to deal with it.
in my life, i can connect to this a lot. i'm a very timid person, and that is one thing that i don't like about myself. I try to make myself an outgoing person, and always say what I mean right then in that moment because if you keep it to yourself, you know that you'll regret not saying it. And the choice of leaving the problem alone is always so tempting, but if you know what you want, then i try to fight for it. for example, fighting with people that i love hurts, but the right thing is always in the back of my head. but i'm not perfect, and i give up. i like to hide. i like to hide from my family and from myself. i share this trait with Hudson in the way that we both want to get somewhere, but want to take the easy way, and sometimes fall behind when it hurts too much.